40 things from my 40th year.

thoughts from my last few days as a 40 year old.

Forty was a milestone I waited years to hit, and it’s hard to believe I’m wrapping up my epic 40th year of life. This was me on my 40th birthday last year as I hiked to the top of a peak in Arizona. It literally feels like a million years ago and yesterday all at the same time. Turning another year older always has me reflecting on life; where i’ve been and where I’m headed.

This past year has been a slow unraveling and a sweet becoming. Forty has been clarifying—like a long exhale after a decade of holding my breath. I’ve learned to listen more closely to my gut, to trust the rhythms of my home and body, to care a little less about what doesn’t matter and a lot more about what does. I wanted to put together a list of things I’ve noticed this past year. It isn’t a list of grand revelations, just a list of truths—tiny, quiet lessons I want to carry with me into the next season. Enjoy!

1. Being offline during my 40^th weekend celebration was the biggest gift. I was free to be loved and celebrated by those closest to me without feeling the need to “share” it.

2. Teaching my newly minted teenage daughter and her friends how to do the “Chinese fire drill” on a Friday night was still as much fun as it was in the 90s.

3. Windows down, music up, driving alone on a beautiful night is free therapy.

4. New favorite way to clean: put an AirPod in to listen to MY music.

5. Trips to the library for nighttime read-aloud books for the fourth child is just as magical as the first kid.

6. Breaking up my 10k steps by multiple 15-20-minute walks around the neighborhood makes it more doable.

7. Keeping track of prayer requests by date in a spiral notebook and tracking when God answers is my 2025 #1 goal.

8. Setting a bedtime routine after almost two years of sleep struggles with the little girls is the thing that finally worked. (praise)

9. I can survive with time away from Instagram. (lol)

10. Inviting friends into the struggle and asking them specifically to speak into me is healing.

11. Morning prayer walks without my phone are delightful.

12. I don’t have to take myself so seriously.

13. Drinks on the patio with your besties at the start of Spring can’t ever be beat.

14. These are the days.

15. Junior high school sports took over my fall social schedule, but I wouldn’t trade it. So many memories made.

16. A trip with my college besties every five years is not nearly enough, but it’s a start.

17. Reading fiction is the greatest escape and treat at the end of a long day.

18. Chat GPT is basically my new personality.

19. Date nights don’t have to be fancy or expensive--casual and cheap is sometimes the way to go.

20. Speaking of date night, I no longer need a “date night” sitter (thanks to big sis + bro)!

21. This year, I stopped apologizing for speaking my truth or being too long-winded with my friends. I started saying “thank you” a lot more instead.

22. Turns out, I can work on boundaries by setting monthly habits, and they work. I’m currently breaking my habit of picking up my phone to check Instagram.

23. Suddenly, I see a gap between the “young/new moms,” my-age friends, and the women who are in a season ahead of me. I crave the mentorship of those who have gone before, and at the same time, want to pass along anything applicable to those in the season behind me.

24. After a decade of mostly only reading nonfiction, I have rediscovered my love of fiction and have fully embraced it.

25. Our summer trips to Colorado are still what I most look forward to all year long. A time to unplug and plug into my family, living a truly simple life, fills me up before the next school year starts.

26. I can’t believe I have two teenagers already! The book Feeding the Mouth that Bites You was a super impactful book for me in this stage of parenting.

27. The best teenage parenting advice I’ve received this year is “say less.” I’m working on it (lol).

28. Saving my funny reel scrolling for Friday night is the perfect ending of a week. The laughter that emerges is next level.

29. I’m not as behind as I think; I’m just in the middle.

30. Leaving margin in the calendar makes more room for magic.

31. A spontaneous “collaborative” dinner with family friends is my favorite way to spend a Saturday night.

32. I’ve changed my view of success so much since my 30s--I intentionally want to live a slow, intentional, purposeful life. No more hustling for my worth. There is purpose right where my feet are.

33. I’m allowed to change my mind.

34. The kids remember the small, silly things more than the big, elaborate plans.

35. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to have fun and connect.

36. I really like going to the gym and am learning not to compare myself to others' fitness levels but focus on my own.

37. I used to think growth had to be loud. Turns out, it can be quiet and slow and still count.

38. Some friends are for a season and some are forever. Both are gifts.

39. My best ideas come while I’m walking, showering, driving, or not trying so hard.

40. I am really loved for just who I am.

Forty has been a gift. Not because it was perfect or easy, but because I kept showing up—to my life, to my people, and to myself. I don’t have everything figured out, but I’m learning to pay attention—to what matters, what I love, and what I want to leave behind. Forty taught me more than I expected. And I have a feeling the best is still unfolding.

cheers to almost 41 (on Easter Sunday!)